How To Piss Off Your Bartender/Waitress

Bartenders and waitresses are some of the worlds thickest skinned people you will ever meet. No matter what we may have going on in our personal lives, we still have to act like we are just the happiest go lucky people on the planet. And no matter how shitty people treat us, we still have to smile and carry on like we don’t even have feelings. We are basically very skilled actors and actresses.

With that being said, there are some things that customers and patrons can say or do to piss us off, but you would probably never know it.

I’ve been in the business going on 20 years now, and you would think there isn’t anything that I haven’t seen or heard. WRONG! People still surprise the shit out of me with their ridiculousness.

How To Piss Off Your Bartender/Waitress

Sit At A Dirty Table! One of my all time biggest pet peeves. I will never understand why you would walk in and sit at a DIRTY table! CLEARLY (90% of the time), your waitress is so busy that she hasn’t had the time to clean that damn table off. And then when she comes to greet you, with a towel in hand to clean said table, you want to say “Ummm, this table is dirty!” No shit Sherlock! Now, there are times where there probably aren’t any clean tables to sit at because your server has been getting her ass handed to her and its just that busy, but in my experience that doesn’t happen to often. So do us favor, sit a one of the 10 clean tables, not THE ONE DIRTY ONE!

Saying You Are Ready To Order, And You’re Not! When your server/bartender comes over and asks if you are ready to put your order in, that does not mean to sit there and stare at the damn menu while humming “Ummmmmmmmm, hmmmmmmm.” Or go around the entire table asking your friends what they are going to order- that’s our job! Just so you know, 9 out of 10 times you are not the only table that your server is waiting on. And chances are there is another table that is actually ready to place their order. If you’re not sure what you want, simply ask for a little more time with the menu.

Ask Stupid Questions! PLEASE do NOT ask me for “A cheeseburger, with no cheese.” Say that out loud to yourself right now. Yeah, you sound like a moron. Just ask for a hamburger.

Be On The Phone At Your Table! Yes, that’s rude! And just so you know, if you are on the phone at your table, I WILL NOT approach you. So don’t go getting pissy with me when you finally hang up your phone and I come to get your drink order. “Yeah we have been waiting for 15 mins for you to come take our order!” Well, I’m sorry chatter-box, but I have manners and I am not going to come and interrupt your phone call. Put your damn phone down!

Be A Shitty Tipper Because you Didn’t Like Your Food! FYI, your server did not cook your meal! Our job was to SERVE YOU!

Don’t Move Your Phone Or Other Personal Belongings When We Are Dropping Off Your Food/Drink! Seriously? When you see us trying to place your food down in front of you….MOVE YOUR SHIT! If you don’t I will guarantee you that I will place your plate right on top of your phone or paperwork.

Force of Nature

When We Greet You, Answer With Your Drink Order! If I approach your table and politely say “Hi There!! How are you doing today?” And your answer is “Glass of Water and a Coke.” You are basically an asshole. Plain and simple. I really don’t care how shitty your day is…chances are my day sucks to, but I still have common courtesy to treat people like they are people.

Approach/Interrupt Us When We Are With Another Table/Customer! I mean how much more rude could you get? You cant wait an extra minute to ask me for a drink refill or tell me that you are ready to order?! Have some damn patience. You are not the only person or table in the place!

Complain To us About The Prices On the Menu! Dude! I don’t make the prices…I just work here. And don’t tell me my tip would be better if your bill wasn’t so expensive. If you don’t have money to go out to eat, then keep your ass at home.

These are just a few of the things that can piss off your waitress. Do you wait tables? Tell me in the comments below what one of your pet peeves are in this biz?

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